Who you be callin a mentalmity? You ain't no kinda dudemeister round these parts with that sasquatch thing all up in your house making screamming noises when she be watckhin judge Juday. I done got me a new weapon against yourn sasquatchs with a mirror duddmeister. When yourns sassquatch wo-man thang sees how purdy she be she be ssexing you all day slong and ruin the floor in your traiuyler house.

PARTAY LIKE GWB

Hey daair Kandar Lee, Yah'll better be shutting up youself. You just ain't no kinda fun dudeette.

My coon dog done chased my pitbull up on topa the trailer. That their dog lived up'n their four round bout four weaks and woodn't cum down no kinda way. Damn thang started eatin the roof off'n the trailer. We needed three ladders cuz the dog don't cum to nowon cept'n my baby mamma. Her gland condition makes her a little overwait. When we got back to the trailer one of them their latters was done disaapaired out the my truck. We done used duck tape and put them ladders togethar so'sn she could get up'n the roof and get the pitbull down aforn it et all the roof off. She get up that latter bout six feet and that thang just plunged str8t into the the ground six foot down and she was just standing there on the ground agin. We looks over toward the enterstate and their was a thundarsturm coming. We went & hidded in the trailer cuz ther be'd lots of litening. Then the litening hit that their latter beside the trailer and blowed a whole right down my trailer. The pitbull done fell threw a whole in the rouf and got askared and bit me right in the nutz. My wife's hair is now standing str8t up and she's holding enuf static electrasity to lite up Atlanta. Now I gots to throw the cheetos to her cuz she's done gone all electrik on us. The latters next to whats lefft of my trailar attracts all the liteneing for six counties and we keep on getting shocked up. I'm gonna start sleepign in my truck now cuz ain't safe up in the trailer. My wife don't fit in the the truck and would make the radio work all the time cuz of her static electrassity.

Hey thank you for sending them nice policemans to my house. We done opened up a keg of Milwaukees Best and partayed own down. The likker store was almost readdy to cloze and I was tryings to gets up enuf momentum to draft off'n your car and glide on off the expresswaiy into the parking lot. My diserbillity check done come that day and the lotto was up to 450 billion dollars. When I done that slangshooting manuever past you my ride done whent like a dream right on down to the road. Thanks for such a good job making a slip stream for me to get to the store and buy lottery tickets, cigarrets and a box of that fancy wines. Them cops done drank all my wine and beer and stoled my cigs. Ain't kinda way for no kinda cops to be acting round here. My wife done gots a two badges and ain't stopeed smiling for near a month. Seems them cops done toook liberties wiht her and she won't tell me which ones wrecked my comfort air bed that I bought at the flee market. Pleese don't send no more cops round hear cuz my wife says she wants more knight stick and that don't seem write.

Ya'll ain't kinda right to be driving round this'n hear parts like no kinda starshep INterprise. My wife done ate the last bag of Cheetos and I's out looking to take it out on the world. Ya'll ain't no kinda partaing peoples. Next tiem you come driving round hear like that thiers gonna be fight if'n my wife is riding in my truck. She's done dieted down to 350 and has been doing TaeBoo when she be watching wrestling. If'n my truck be leenin to the right, you better watch youself next tiem. Her TaeBo skills and killer body will put a hurtin on you. Last guy tried a take her favoritte slot matchine done got his head wedged in a sewar great. I been triying to get Chuck Norrass to come over and fight her cuz she thanks he's cute and we be wanting a threesome with a moviaystar.

Hay dude, ain't no kinda scared of you. That their wife of you'rns be scarin me still. Damn man, that hog looks like a cross between a bigfoot and Hilray Clynton. I done had my shotgun but was askared that she'd just'n take the buckshot and keep on coming. How do you make enough bucks to feed that thing? Is you sure you done breeded her or did she eat her a child and poop it out later? I done stopped at Best Buy to get me camera for getting me some pictures of your sasquatch wife. My dog was in the truk but jumped out to run from the sasquatch monster in your fine 1972 Vega. Last time anywon done seed him, was running real fast toward Mexico. I'm hoping they don't eat him in no kinda dog burritos.

I ain't no freek you Floridiot. My coon dog done got to fighting with my pit pull to eats them a ded possum. My baby mamma done tried pulling them dogz chains and like to split her favoritt partay pants. Ain't you got no good feelins for some dude need to be gettin on home to brake up a dogfight? Cuz a ya'll my baby mamma fell on the possum & got that their thang wedged on up in her crack. That thing weren't no kinda dead and done woked on up and went biting her fine white rear. Than my pitbuell done broked the da loggin chain round her kneck and ett that possuum right out the crackk of my baby mamma booty. she be likin it so much ain't come out the doghouse sinsce. I rescent u be callin me no kinda freak. You ain't no kinda complassing.

Kalamazoom is a partay town dude. Ain't you got no fun a being round here. Usn's don't want none of you fancy people around here no how. We'd have us some fancy turn signals if'n there be'd some good azs job round here to stead of ain't making nuff to get them good lottery tickets, smokes and biggie meals from over the MacDonalds. Ya'll needs to relax and partay down with usn's dudemeisters. This here ain't no kinda place no more for no kinda fancy folk. We done got us four walmartgs round here and we's going after Kentucky for #1 spot on party down party town state's list of partay down spots. My trailer ain't had no lites since my cousin had to get on transportated to the fat people clineck over to Battle Creek. She ain't be walking and had to lay on my trialer all the way their. One of her butt cheeks dragged on the pavemeant and started a grease fire five miles down Intrastait 94. It smelled like butter, bacon and cheetos. Weren't no kinda way purdy. Leave'n us'n here partayers alone. We dones got this'n here partay town just like we likes it.

Yo, what de talk on de left and right? Ain't got no kinda way to stay out the road cept when them cops be after my badonka or my favorite wihte ho. Partay' down, dued. Whitey be in a hurry round the hood.

Yo, shack da lackta dack daladacta crack crack crack. Rap party with a fourty on the whoors. Bush Cheney make me goose step like a schnizeled German Nazzi. Yo up party shnackdalacta whackdallacta snookdala lookkdalookta partay down.

Dude I done seed you in my mirror back there and ya'll was really making me mad trying to get somewhere. When you was driving like that it really hurt my redneck feelings. I felt like you was better than Me and I was inadequate and a hillybilly redneck neantherdthal. Ya'll need to be apologizing for driving aroudn edxpecing usn's to be do nothing but being out there on the roads riding in our truks. My wife ain't all that fat, she lost four pounds by chasing the oldest kid, she's a little challeneged after the gasoline sniffing thing, around the walmart fourteen times trying to steal back the last bag of cheetos. I ain't got no way to get out your way cuz I gets confused and then angry and the confused again.